The Night of Decree

That Skeptic Turned 25

What a day.

Tomorrow will be the second day being 25.

The day after tomorrow will be the third day.

And forward.

On… and on…

InsyaAllah…

Until –

 Allah knows when.

The thing about celebrating birthdays, we often wished to live longer and achieve greater goals in life. However, the truth… we are approaching death.

Don’t worry, I was having a blast on my birthday guys! HAHA I would definitely update about my birthday soon insyaAllah. (If I am not too tired because I’m already 25 kan? HA. #thesilverage)

But really, we should think about it – every year we would be looking forward to more years to come, which is good of course as it shows how positive your perspective towards life is, but have you ever – just probably once – realize that we are incapable to escape one truth called death?

It’s just a matter that I ponder upon every year. Not once, not twice but numerous times… Alhamdulillah. And perhaps, you should too.

- Miss P -

Isra' & Mi'raj

The miraculous journey - gift from Allah to our Messenger, Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. 

image source: http://www.ammboi.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/perjalanan-nabi-saw-israk-mikraj.jpg

The Cocoa Brown Box

3^rd April 2015

While browsing through Instagram, I saw @krispy_puff posted up a photo telling their followers that they will be at UBD on the next day, selling their yummy cream puffs.

I decided to flood my friend’s – WW – whatsapp, asking her if she could help me get them. I need her help because she is one of my few friends that is still studying in UBD. Aaaannddd I was already injured.

4^th April 2015

Still flooding her whatsapp, reminding her to get those cream puffs.

The puffs were sold out in the next half-an-hour after they opened, she failed. MY FRIEND FAILED. She was just a step late to get them for me! *CRYYYYYY*

Not literally but I was dying (kidding!) to taste the crispiness of those cream puffs. I was super-determined guys, if not I would not be flooding WW with texts. Sorry to trouble you girl!

5^th April 2015

Decided to text @krispy_puff. No reply.

15^th April 2015

I texted them again, by any chance they forgot to get back to me. Still, I got no reply. I gave up.

18^th April 2015

They texted me! But time was not on my side. I went to Miri that day and there was no way I could get them. I told them if they could text me their next open order in the near future… but again, they never texted back.

_______________________________________

Long story short, I give up and never got the chance to taste those krispy puffs.

HOWEVER –

Miracle did happen! On 7^th of May 2015, a beautiful soul came to my house and left this @kripsy_puff box on the table in my kitchen! I am so touched that I almost cry! She also left me a note,

No name but I still recognize your handwriting, A!

Krispy_Puff Box right there, in Cocoa Brown.

To my dear friend, AA, you made my day. You may not know the story about my krispy puff cravings but Allah knows and HE inspired you to get me those puffs. May Allah bless you love!

To think of it now… I feel bad. Because when she came, I was in my room, resting… or sleeping actually. She didn’t text me beforehand that she’s coming and now I feel bad L but isn’t she sweet?

Isn’t Allah sweet?

If anyone is interested to try the cream puffs, just head on to their instagram @krispy_puff. But let me just say…

LOOK AT THAT!

AND THAT!

The puffs are long gone now and to be honest, I’m not a big fan of sweet refreshments but these little ones are worth the try. They come in 6 flavors,

The Milk Custard is the winner! The rest are not bad too but I have not tried the White Chocolate. Probably another reason to get another box?

If only they would reply to my texts.

- Miss P -

Be Happy To Help

image source: https://www.pinterest.com/annurt/nouman-ali-khan-quote/

[Short Story] I Am Not Weak

Am I really strong or I pretended not to be weak?

________________________________________

“Your daughter has asthma. You need to look after her 24/7. Asthma could kill and 
she is only one. She couldn’t tell you if she had trouble breathing,

but I could tell you how to notice that.”

My parents’ heart could have shattered into pieces when the doctor told them; their one-year-old daughter had asthma. How would I know? They told me, as I grew older.

“Why can’t I drink gassy water?”

“What do you mean I can’t go outside and play?”

“Why can’t I have pets?”

“Why can’t I eat this? And that?”

“Why…”

I stopped asking because I had asthma.

People think I am weak. When I played with my cousins, we all laughed, ran around the house and my aunt would be like,

“Bah stop playing everyone, get some rest, si Kaka karang asthma tu.”

We stopped playing because I had asthma.

People think I shouldn’t do anything. I tried to lift up heavy stuff or boxes, which I managed to do really, but there will always be others who would say,

“Eh Kaka! No need to force yourself! Just go inside and rest.”

I stopped trying because I had asthma.

Years passed and I went to school just like any normal kids. However, I was different when I was at school. I never told anyone that I had asthma. Nobody think I’m weak. Nobody think I am feeble to do anything. So I joined a few clubs, but stayed away from sports – afraid it would trigger my illness, which then would show that I am helpless.

Then I am tired of being weak. I am tired of people asking me not to do this or that. I am tired of people seeing me as someone incapable of doing anything. And because of that, I decided to grow.

With my decision and over time my asthma had gotten better as well. I started joining few sports clubs such as netball, running and acrobatics. My parents started to put faith in me that I will get better. I didn’t let them down. I was 12 and with Allah’s Will, my parents’ doas along with medication and my hope… my asthma had gone.

But that does not stop people from seeing me as a weakling in the family. They let me do anything – yes, but only within my “capability”. I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell them that I am strong enough, capable enough to do anything. Nobody listened.

Years in high school were indifferent. However, I became more eager to be strong. I sort of had proven to be tough among my friends but then what if… that were just my imagination?

“I am going to Australia.”

That news hit my family more than it should. My parents were proud of me, most of my family members are, but I overheard my Grandmother said to my parents,

“Alhamdulillah she gets to further her studies but how can she go there alone?! 

How can she bring all her luggage just by herself?!
How can she live there by herself?!”

For the second time in my life, I wanted to explode.

Am I really that weak?

Didn’t surviving without asthma through out high school is enough?

Instead of losing my patience, I decided to show them that I am strong enough. I even thought a 37kg luggage was not that heavy after-all. Yes, I was that determined to show that I can carry a 37kg luggage, along with more than 7kg backpack on my shoulder and another 4kg-or-so hand carry to Australia, transit in Brisbane and then safely landed in Sydney, alone.

Achievement unlocked.

Living three years away from them made me realized, they were just worried. They were worried about what could happen and so on. Most importantly, they were afraid if I got sick. Allah please forgive me but I am not the kind of person that loves to be pampered. I don’t like it when people thought that I’m vulnerable because I’m not.

Alhamdulillah, I never have gotten sick pretty much during high school, during my study in Australia and after I got home for good. However, as what Allah has stated in the Qur’an, Surah Al-Ankabut,

“Do the people think that they will be left to say, 
"We believe" and they will not be tested?” [29:2]

Little of me who ever thought, that I am strong. Allah decided to put me on His test. He puts me in pain now to make me realize, no matter how strong I portray myself, I would never be stronger more than what He intends to.

I am thankful for all the attentiveness given, but as I said earlier,

I am just not that kind of person.

Even if I only pretended to be strong, I just wanted to say…

I am not weak.

________________________________________

[This short piece of writing is adapted from a true story. The names used are not the real names of the people involved in the real situation, therefore the name and plots written in this story are purely coincidental and have nothing to do with the living or the dead.]

Be strong dear self, because with struggle, there is ease.

Ps. Feeling like a loser and listening to Loser by BigBang does not help.

- Miss P -

Large Ringed Donut

Did I mention before that I have back pain and it is affecting my left leg as well? If I did then… I want you (I don’t know who I am talking to *laughs nervously*) to know that I’m going to do Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) procedure tomorrow.

Honestly, I never thought my pain would be this scary. I thought a pack of painkillers would actually kill the pain. But four weeks passed and the pain is excruciating as ever.

The last time I saw my doctor, Dr. K (not Dato’ K #malayjokes), he suspected my spine is somehow dented and it affected the nerve circulation of my left leg. That is how much I understand his explanation because believe me, he almost made me a doctor by saying all those medical terms.

In the end, he suggested to go through MRI and see if his suspicion is true. I agreed to it because this pain is starting to bother me. I am pretty much a chill person, so I don’t really care if I’m ill or in pain because I believe, it will all go away eventually, after numerous amount of sleep. However this time round, I am not so sure.

My conversation with Dr. K went like this,

Dr. K:  So, how are you feeling girl? (Flipped through my medical report)

Me:      Uhhh, been the same for the past four weeks I think.

Dr. K:  Sigh. Poor you… You’re 24 but your leg’s condition is 84.

Me:      Ha. Ha. My grandmother said the same thing!

Dr. K: Okay. Now let’s do some leg exercise.

Which I didn’t do well. Apparently.

Dr. K: How much do you know about spines?

Me: Nothing. (I decided to be honest here)

Dr. K: Ahh… of course. You are an engineer.

He smirked. Sigh. I shouldn’t have told him.
He went on explaining about the spines, the nerves, muscles and so on, for about 5 minutes.

Dr. K:  But that was just what I suspected. I suggest it’s better to do MRI to confirm this. Do you have any question?

Me:      I won’t ask you how much will it cost, you can tell that to my mother but when do I do this thing?

Dr. K:  As soon as possible. I will ask the nurse to check the availability with the scanning department.

Me:      Uuuuuh... It’s not scary right?

Dr. K:  Naaahh, it’s just like going through a large ringed donut.

I just nodded. But the thing is… I’ve never been through a donut. Has anyone ever?

Ps. By any chance anyone read this, please pray for me #patheticme #thankyou

- Miss P -